Lyrics Dissected #1 - The Gaga Phenomenon

What is it about the singer that makes the twenty-four-year-old Italian American New Yorker so popular? Why is her Wikipedia page longer than that of many historical figures, with over 130 references and translations into over seventy languages?

First, let's see what "normal" singers are popular for: And that is usually their voice - but I doubt that we can talk about voice quality. Gaga doesn't have surprising range or technique and she doesn't sing any songs with meanings deeper than I-won't-say-what (of course, I mean the lake) for us to hear her interpret something in a way that touches us personally. Then there's music quality - hold the tomatoes that you're about to throw at me, but Gaga's songs aren't what I'd call virtuoso level. They have very simple tunes and equally simple rhythm.

So what is it in her songs that makes them reach the tops of all rankings and why do her CDs sell at an alarmingly fast rate?

Let's take a set of her song lyrics and dissect them.

"Telephone" by Lady Gaga

* part one *

Hello, hello, baby;
You called, I can't hear a thing.
I have got no service
in the club, you see, see…

What are we singing about here? Someone having connection issues in the club. But first off, who tries to talk on the phone in the club without leaving the dance floor and secondly, in the music video, she's in jail (not to mention being inappropriately dressed, but that's a problem in most MTV video clips).

Wha-Wha-What did you say?
Oh, you're breaking up on me…
Sorry, I cannot hear you,
I'm kinda busy.

Instead of hanging up, we decide to talk to the poor person, despite having no connection and having already determined that we CANNOT HEAR the other person. Is it just me, or are we being a bit stupid here?

K-kinda busy
K-kinda busy
Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy.

Hun, you just said that. You're repeating yourself.  I'm sure there's a way to work on the stuttering, but you need to make more of an effort to think. Because if you don't want to talk to the guy, hang up on him and go have fun in the club (or jail, whatever) and don't waste more of his money.

Just a second,
it's my favorite song they're gonna play
And I cannot text you with
a drink in my hand, eh…

You can talk on the phone.. But you can't take it away from your ear for a minute to send a text. And you're going to continue attempting to talk to the guy despite not being able to hear him in the noisy club (-slash-jail). Aren't we the foamiest beer in the six pack...

You shoulda made some plans with me,
you knew that I was free.
And now you won't stop calling me;
I'm kinda busy.

And by "kinda busy", you mean that you found a new guy and this previous one should stop bothering you, or that you're just being bitchy and playing some game? Either way, if you don't want to talk to him, you just hang up and say that you lost connection when he calls back and you do pick up. But then you wouldn't have made the nine-minute music video of nothing in particular.

Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna think anymore!

Oh, so you admit to thinking at any point between the beginning of this song and now? I thought I'd have noticed such unusual behavior...

I left my hand and my heart on the dance floor.
Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna talk anymore!
I left my hand and my heart on the dance floor.

Someone could step on it was the first thing that came to mind, before realizing that indeed, there was a metaphor in this song! And it makes some sense, but only if you mean that you went to the club to get a one-night-stand. Which was probably the case since she's only "kinda busy" now.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…
Stop telephonin' me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…
I'm busy!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…
Stop telephonin' me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…

I dare you to try reading that in a casual speaking voice as if those "eh"-s were actual words that needed intonation and regular sentence speaking style. I gave up by the second set of "eh"-s, deciding I sound like an idiot and that we could skip over to the next verse.

... part two coming up soon ...

Last Google search: speech pathology repeating syllables disease name

Now playing: "Telephone" by Lady Gaga (music video)